Kid Jong Il

Rain is hot stuff. He's wildly popular. Maybe more popular than Paris Hilton going to prison. He's cornered the solo male pop market. Sadly, 99% of his songs are either unbearable or laughable, but he is very pretty - like a woman - and I owe a lot to Rain.

Rain was the first person on tv who did not have Hye, Hyun, Ha, Eun, Youn, or Ya in his name, making him recognizable and memorable. During the first week of school, my limited knowledge of Rain bonded me permanently to the third grade, and we had a great year from that point on. Rain is insta-conversation. Should I mention him to anyone above the age of 6 and below the age of 65, I would have an immediate conversation.
He's slowly making his way westward and working his magic, which caught the eye of Colbert and prompted him to make this video, which is bitingly funny. It's so perfect.