Andy's Lies

I like my younger brother. He's funny. He also likes to tell lies. And those are funny too. So, this is a little bit about his lies.

My brother told me John Wayne died of constipation. 30 lbs. of constipation. That's a lot of poop. He assured me that he confirmed it several different places. I thought it was weird, but possible - I’d die too if I had 30 pounds of backed up waste, though I did wonder why he didn’t do something about it. I thought that it was such an amazing story that I told my parents. They said, “Don’t be ridiculous. Everyone knows John Wayne died of cancer.” Cancer. Andy is such a liar. Anyway. Now Andy and I call pooping, “Wayne-ing.”

This is my favorite lie that Andy routinely tells:

Andy holds out a dollar and asks, “Do you want this dollar? Here. Take it.”
So you try to take it and he jerks his hand back and says, “Haha. I’m just kidding. Here. Really. You can really have it.” And again he snatches it away.
He keeps on doing this, over and over, each time having to work harder to gain your trust, and each time his charm and sincerity win the person over. Then, he does it again. It's so angering, but you can't help but believe him each time. He's such a fat liar.