It’s that time of year. Trees are budding, weeds are taking over old mens’ yards, romance is blooming, pits are beginning to sweat. Ahhh yes. Spring is in the air. That’s right folks, it’s the beginning of sweat season.
My friend Lindsey not-so-gingerly pointed this out to me when she cropped off part of my body for a picture because of the embarrassing tell-tale sweat spot showing under my raised arm.
My sweat season is year-round, for unfair reasons that I can’t comprehend. It doesn’t matter if it’s cold. I sweat when I’m happy, when I’m nervous, when I’m excited, and when I’m bored. It’s disgusting! And embarrassing. And no amount of deodorant or showering helped. Until...
CertainDri.
Every woman has that one beauty product they simply cannot live without. Mine is CertainDri. This stuff is miraculous. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. What was once an embarrassing and sticky daily situation was resolved with a few simple swipes of this product. It’s like black magic! Just swipe it on clean pits at night for a week and viola - no more pit-tastrophes!
Many people have suggested that a product that makes underarm sweating impossible may not be healthy. And to these skeptics I say: CertainDri may cause cancer, it may cause horrible deformities in my future children, but for now, that’s just all right with me.
*Warning: It burns with the fire of ten thousand suns if you are freshly shaven.
HAHAHA!!!! OK I seriously laughed out loud. I'm so proud to have a friend that's as funny as you. OK and what picture are you talking about, are you talking about ME, Lindsey, or some other Lindsey that I'm unaware of? The situation sounds familiar, but refresh my memory. Oh Rachel, I miss you, and your sweaty pits.
ReplyDeleteRachel, I know what you mean. I don't think I'm as bad as you, but I've had my days where pit stains the size of grapefruits stained my shirt for hours...but it was okay because I was in the Buenos Aires airport and only a few people knew me. I've used a similar product to the one you refer, but I've kind of gotten out of the habit...I know the burn that you speak of, though.
ReplyDeleteI want some of that. -JR
ReplyDelete