Whyspace

Yesterday, mom came home and proudly announced that she joined facebook. This is a big step for a 56 year-old woman who allows only the great trifecta of logic, pragmatism, and rationalism to rule her daily activities. After letting her talk about it for a few minutes, I broke her gladdened talk with the news that, although she hopped on the facebook train, she just missed the boat. The myspace boat.

Now, many skeptics keep asking what the point of myspace is. They refuse to join because they think it's dumb. Maybe it is, but here are my reasons why it is okay to join myspace.

1. It can be a "consumer's guide": You know when you want to buy a new cd, but you just aren't sure about the group? Well, you can listen to entire songs on myspace.

2. It can be a social boon: Some people I know use myspace as a way to solidify their networking in social situations. Say you meet a lot of people all in one night, but you didn't get to know them well enough to make it un-awkward the next time you see them, so you use myspace to send them messages before you see them again. It kind of cyber-bonds you.

3. It can be a social crutch: Some people I know use myspace as a highly personal stalking device. They remain too shy to speak to the stalkee in person, but are so cavalier as to plumb the depths of their soul through myspace.

4. You can discover new music: Sometimes I go to a friend's page and I hear a great song or group. Sometimes I get messages from groups that are touring and are coming through the area. Sometimes they are terrible. Sometimes they are delightful.

After a few days, the novelty of cruising around people's pages wears off and becomes depressing. Most pages are painfully typical and frightfully thoughtless. Plus, it appears that the majority of people in our nation between the ages of 16-37 live only to drink and then talk about it on myspace. People! Find a passion. That isn't alcohol. Use your brain and stop acting and dressing like an Abercrombie drone. At least class up to JCrew.

And don't put your profile on private. It's really annoying.