Spare the rod, spoil the child

There is a huge, older, semi-creepy caucasian man that lives across the hall from me. And, sad for him, his bathroom window faces into the hallway. So, you can hear when he takes a shower, and when he flushes. And, when he hocks lugies. Apparently, he suffers from terrible allergies that cause him to do this with shocking regularity. I am listening to him right now. It sounds awful! Yuck. Maybe I'll buy some allergy medicine and leave it on his step with a note that says:

"Dear sir,
I couldn't help but notice that you have a lot of phlegm. I know how awful that can be. I also know how awkward it must be for your bathroom window to be in the hallway. And, believe me, all your neighbors share in this pain with you. So, since you can't move your bathroom, please take this as a token of my concern for both your well-being and mine.

Sincerely,
Your grossed out neighbor

P.S. Maybe you should see a doctor."

Today I was teaching a lesson about different kinds of food around the world, and one little boy named Joon thought it would be SO funny if he told me they eat grasshoppers in Korea. The rest of the class hopped on that wagon real fast and would not stop yelling, so I finally just wrote it on the board to get them to stop shouting. Then, I told them I was going to make each of them eat a grasshopper since Koreans eat them all the time. Let me tell you, the looks on their faces were priceless. They got quiet after that.

This leads me to my new discovery: I enjoy scaring children. Especially the bad ones. I don't like yelling at whole classes, but I do secretly enjoy shouting at the ones that act up. Especially when I get to slam my books down on the desk right in front of them. I like acting like I'm angry and scaring them. I have tried positive reinforcement, I tried not yelling, I've tried whispering. I've tried bribing, I've tried threatening, and I've tried sitting silently. So far, yelling is the only way to control some of the classes - it's the only way anyone will hear me. Sometimes, I have to slam something in front them before they will even acknowledge that I am saying their name or asking them to sit down or to be quiet. Little devils.

They are so much younger than I thought they would be. Some of the Korean teachers let them run wild because they say, "they are children and they need to play." Yes. I agree. So don't send them to school when they are 3 and 4 years old and ask me to teach them another language.

I don't enjoy making children behave. If only I could be in charge of just play time or snack time.