You kiss your mother with that mouth?

I am the grossest person I know. I didn’t used to be that way. I used to be fastidious about keeping my kitchen clean. Not anymore. I only have 2 spoons, 2 glasses, 1 knife, and 1 fork. You would think that having so few utensils would encourage me to keep them clean, but that’s just not true.

I drank a cup of coffee at my computer the other night. There was yet another mosquito on the wall. The spoon was the only thing I had to clobber it with. I smooshed the mosquito, checked out the aftermath on the back of the spoon, put the spoon down, and went back to work. The next morning, I needed something to stir my drink with, so I grabbed the spoon on my desk, forgetting the treasured remains on the other side. I took a little sip from the spoon to see if I had everything right, and I got a big mouthful of mosquito legs. It felt disgusting. I am disgusting.