You Can't Be Serious

In the past two weeks I have very nearly gone into convulsions attempting to get children to do the simplest of tasks. Their brains have shut down and my patience was used up several months ago. There are only so many times you can say the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over. And, after 6 times, when half of the class still hasn't circled the cat on their paper despite personal attention and dire pleading, I can only count the weeks until I am through as I wipe the froth from the corners of my mouth. All the while I pity the other half of the class that is practicing their Chinese characters and writing complex equations in the margins of their paper. Yet the icing on the cake comes everyday when the one kid goes to the board to copy down his name because he can't spell it - and he has been here everyday for a year and a half.

I am not exaggerating.

There are times that the scenes in the classroom become so outrageous that I just sit and marvel. There is a kid here named Rain. He is insanely wild. Like nothing I have seen. He's a living cartoon character, doing things that real children just do not do in real life.
Sometimes, as I watch his outrageous behavior taking place before me, I wonder if it is all really happening because it is so bodacious and unbelievable.

For example: Last week we're in the middle of a discussion and suddenly Rain stands up in his chair and starts yelling in Korean at the top of his lungs. As I yell over him to stop, he runs over the top of his desk, jumps down, and runs to the door, whence he grabs the doorknob and starts slamming his forehead on the doorknob. As Rain slams his head on the knob, the rest of the class starts screaming and laughing and standing up. I begin to lose control as the decibel level rises and the children start mobbing and rioting. I am rendered immobile by the 3 children latched on my legs and sitting on my feet, while another repeatedly headbutts my uterus and 2 more try to pull off my fingers.

Sure, I know they're only 6 and sure what Rain is doing is way more interesting than learning what "fur" is, but seriously, who is in charge? How does a 6-year old overrule a person 4 times his age and size?

Rain rules the class...and he talks like Scooby Doo. That's just embarrassing.