Awkward Can Be Sexy

Watch out dating world, here I come.

"The best "catches" in dating land may be the worst choices in the long-run, new research shows.

Popular people who monitor themselves carefully in social situations and thereby appear to be the most socially appropriate are often highly sought after as romantic partners, a study finds, but these people show less satisfaction and commitment in relationships than socially-awkward people.

By self-monitoring, people assess how their actions affect others and adjust to fit the appropriateness of the situation. They screen their words and behavior to suit the people around them. "High self-monitors are social chameleons," said Northwestern University professor of communication studies Michael E. Roloff. "And, because they're quick to pick up on social cues, are socially adept and unlikely to say things upsetting to others, they are generally well-liked and sought after."

Self-monitoring is often a helpful attribute. "Research finds [self-monitors] to be excellent negotiators and far more likely to be promoted at work than their low self-monitoring peers,” Roloff said. But there’s a downside for high self-monitors when it comes to their romantic relationships. "High self-monitors may appear to be the kind of people we want to have relationships with, but they themselves are less committed to and less happy in their relationships than low self-monitors," Roloff said.

The problem seems to be that they can't turn the self-monitoring off. "The desire to alter one's personality to appropriately fit a given situation or social climate prevents high self-monitors from presenting their true selves during interactions with their romantic partners," Roloff said. "High self-monitors are very likeable and successful people. However, it appears they’re just not deep."

Conversely, the researchers found that low self-monitors — people who are the least concerned with social appropriateness and are unlikely to mask their feelings or opinions to avoid confrontation or preserve their self-image — are more committed to and more satisfied with their relationships. Those awkward people who always seem to be sticking their feet in their mouths may ultimately be more genuine and capable of intimate relationships. (However, their honesty and loyalty can extract a price from their partners, because they may be more likely to say blunt and hurtful things.)"

- msnbc.com and livescience.org

As Jeremy, a trainer at the gym once said, "Awkward can be sexy!"