Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Monster Trucks in Micro-Machine City

Since it was founded, the population in Austin has doubled every 20 years. And, for all the great things about this city, the traffic can be atrocious. Usually when I think of traffic, I think of jammed interstates, but here traffic is worse through the middle of town. This is why:

In what I assume was an effort to facilitate heavy traffic, the city took average-sized two lane streets and bisected them, creating tiny 4 lanes fit for nothing larger than a Barbie car. Granted, given an unflinching driving pattern, lots of mutual trust, and former experience as a Blue Angels pilot, two Honda Civics can fit side by side on such a road. The side mirrors will be knocked off, but it is physically possible. And since you're so close to each other, when you successfully reach a stop light, you can reach out and high-five the navy pilot navigating the other car.

However, should you have the unfortunate experience to find yourself driving next to anything larger than a go-cart, you are in serious trouble. Should a large vehicle zoom up next to you, you may well find yourself suddenly sitting in a Suburban’s passenger seat staring into the eyes of the surprised driver. Alternately, in avoidance of a complete vehicular meld with a Suburban, you will find yourself driving on the sidewalk. This will, of course, terrify all pedestrians and cyclists, causing them to fear they will have to begin wearing full body armor just to get to work.

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