Thursday, August 02, 2007

Mall Walkers and Mother God

Since March, I have been accosted countless times by a group of proselytizing maniacs that lie in wait in every convenient and neccesary place - shopping centers, buses, parks, restaurants, subways, and train stations.

When they first came out of the woodwork, two of my friends were fooled by them. A few friendly women approached them in a park claiming to be a welcome group for Westerners. They wanted them to watch a video about Korea to welcome them. They weren't really doing anything, and the woman was really insistent, so they went with her. Turned out the welcome group was more of a cult and the welcome video an exercise in brainwashing.

Most of the crazies do not speak any English, yet they have been sent out to target Westerners. Those that can speak English are deceptive and misleading. This is an account of my favorite, and most awful encounter with them:

I was walking to the subway through an underground shopping area that was filled with people. Two middle-aged women came running up to me with huge, friendly smiles. As soon as the words "Mother God" came out of their mouths, I knew I was in trouble. I politely told them no and went on my way. They kept pace with me as I walked faster and faster through the shopping center. They weren't speaking English, and people were starting to stare as I became more insistent in telling them I wasn't interested. Whether I used Korean or English, it was not sinking in.

This persuit continued down the length of one city block. I thought my big break had come when one of the ladies turned around to talk to the other lady, while continuing to walk at full-tilt. Before long and with considerable momentum, she crashed into a pole - with her head. She made a huge racket and drew lots of stares. And still it did not deter her. She looked a little dazed and then she and her friend chased me even faster, crazily laughing down the mall.

The whole time, I kept asking myself, "Is this really happening? Am I really running away from middle-aged women who are laughing like chattering monkeys, waving pamphlets, and trying to make me come with them?" It seemed so much like one of my weird dreams.

The bizzre, over-zealous stalking ended as I broke into a run down some stairs and darted into the bathroom.

Since then, there have been at least 12 other encounters, but none so emphatic as that one. When we are on buses or the subway, the people around look at us with pity. Pleading glances are met by faces that say, "I would help you, but those people are crazy and I don't want them to talk to me." And really, who could blame them?

1 comment:

  1. Hey, I've had several run-ins with them recently. I stood and talked to four of them (two couples) by the river for 20 or 30 min. We went around in circles of course, but I really wanted to find out how long this group has been around, etc. I didn't find much out, but towards the end of the conversation, one of the older, married men -- the only one who spoke English -- asked how old I was, if I was single, and then told me I was beautiful. New evangelism tactic. Amazing. I mean, once I heard that I was like, "Take me to your church, immediately."
    What the shut?

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