Cruisin' into 2012

This is the story of why you should always keep your passport current.

At about 6:30 yesterday evening, my mother called and said, “I have the opportunity of a lifetime for you.”  Instead of describing a sweet housesitting gig, as I assumed she would, she asked if I wanted to go on a 10 day cruise to Panama. For free.  It just so happened that this sounded like a pretty good idea to me. 

It is worth noting that I was pretty far down the order of succession for this trip.  This fourth spot was initially slated for Gram, who passed away, and then for my mom’s cousin Rachel, whose husband had a medical emergency. I had a sneaking suspicion that this fourth spot was cursed, and feared that I very well might meet with some terrible fate, but I decided to take a chance.

After checking to see if my passport was still current (barely), scrambling to find a pet sitter, someone to take over my work duties for both jobs (thanks Jori, Steven, and Dad!), a frantic search for the half gallon of sunscreen such a trip requires for someone of my fair-skinned-ness, I found myself on the way to the Austin airport scarcely more than 12 hours after finding out about the trip.

But you guys. I forgot how unpleasant flying is. Sitting side-buttock to side-buttock with complete strangers is not my idea of a good time.  Facing your seat partner in an attempt at conversation requires a physical intimacy not unlike kissing; further, that conversation will inevitably allow you to detect exactly what that stranger had for lunch.  In the case of my seatmates, it seems hard liquor and pastrami were on the menu.

Also today I discovered something far worse than sitting near a screaming child, and that is being stuck in the middle of a clustercuss of drunken car salesmen:

And now I'm sharing a bed with my mother, who snores. Big time. It's like sleeping next to a motor speedway. I have got to find some earplugs.

The good news is we cruise tomorrow for a private island in the Bahamas, where I have the option to sail, snorkel, parasail,  go horseback riding, or hang out in a hammock under the palms.  Awesome.